I spent RM250 in just 1 1/2 days. I'm totally mentally distraught.
I'm emo.
No doubt, I've been crying continuously for the past few days, part of it because of drama, but at the same time, crying over my own feelings. The feeling is hell torture. Whenever people talks about it, I still felt the impact. I wanted to ignore. I wanted to deaf my ear from listening. I wanted to blind myself from seeing. The truth is, I was the one who wants to find out about everything. I thought I was strong enough to go through this alone but no, I was wrong. It's not about love neither about hatred anymore but the feelings conquered every bits of my life. I'm losing completely. I don't even know what I want at this moment. Tears just flow down THAT easily. I really wanna burst out crying onto someone's shoulder. I need the comfort so badly. Nobody can ever give me back that warmth. Nobody. When I read back those familiar words, my heartache like nobody business. Nobody care no matter how hard I sob. Nobody know no matter how loud I cried. Nobody understand my so called complicated feelings. There's just nobody in my life.
Yes, I'm crying. Now.
Yes, I'm crying. Now.
You never feel my pain
but that doesn't mean I'm not hurt
You see me smiling everyday
but that doesn't mean I'm happy
but that doesn't mean I'm not hurt
You see me smiling everyday
but that doesn't mean I'm happy
- Btw this post was suppose to be updated yesterday night but the STUPID internet connection just cut off suddenly. ARGH babi..! -
3 comments:
Life is not a bed of roses, things don't go the way we want. I know its a hard time but hei, maybe you can look around you, probably they are a lot of people suffering the same thing as you do, or even worst. I ain't good at advising, but I know if we don't move on, we'll be stucked in the same old pace forever.
Who knows our lifespan is so short that it ends tomorrow? Definitely, you won't wanna end it this way too. You have loads of friends who are constantly supporting you. Just because we are here :)
Thanks anyway. I know very well actually. I've been listening to the same old advises from people all this while. Lol. Hmm well, emo lar.. what to do. I do know I have friends supporting me. And one of them of course will be you. xD
You learn to crawl before you can walk. And you learn to fall before you know how to get up. Don't limit yourself in such captivity, we deserve more than just emotional burden. I mean for your case actually -_-
c'est la vie
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