Of the only joy that I have ever known.

I'm growing up!

My growth over the past year feels tangible to me today. I woke up feeling pretty much like an adult, and it feels good. When I was younger I'd always thought of throwing the fanciest 21st lifetime partay but all that came true was a most heartbreaking birthday by a bunch of people I treasured most. Thou I foresee the surprises, I was still touched by their degree of love. Such intensity has never been poured onto our friendship, rather unbelievably. But despite that I'm really quite lucky. :)


I want to blog a proper emotional birthday post but I don't know man. Something seems to hold me against that, and it's giving me goosebumps. I hope it is just me thinking too much, and having unusual disorder because this phase of life is ending in another 15 days.

Happy clappy moment.

No I didn't tears when they came dashing in and screaming birthday song because they were more than hyperactive and excited compared to myself. -_-



Always ready for free love and surprise birthday cupcakes. ^___^



I had all the love I needed this big two-one, so much of being blessed. ♥



It's always about cracking lame topics and making fun out of each other.



Never about the sincerity.



So when the boys finally revealed the loving side of them, my heart moved a little.

Although I do hate them for ticking me off at many occasions and often goes beyond my limitation pffts.



But to see all of those priceless efforts they held for this birthday preparation.



I was obliged. :)



We may have fought and argued every day and night.



But we would still laugh together at the end each day.



Because it's the bond that truly matters.



I'm thankful with whatever we are now.



And it's amazing to have come this far together.



The boys never really fail to cheer me up, even after they made me cried a river and then told me I have fugly smudged eyes with a piece of mirror and bought me McDonald's.



Urgh how much I want to be angry with these pathetic people!

One who stayed up whole night despite assignment deadlines to a piece of self-designed birthday card. And hugged me to repeating apologies for ruining my life fml.

One who without reservation flood his way to Sunway Pyramid right after class to buy me cupcake Chic. And told me to use a better quality eyeliner so that the next time I cry I wouldn't have smeared it double fml.

One who willingly do anything just to fight things I wanted most in my wish list. And sent me smses saying my tears were worthy to prove myself strong triple fml.



One who innocently told transparent lies just to comprehend with the whole plan. And couldn't stop laughing at my embarrassing stuff how can I not FML.



Oh boy, it's all worthwhile. ♥



I may not expressed my gratitude well.



But I loved you guys more than words could say.



Thank you for making my birthday a memorable one.

King of Fighters - the cheebye version. HAHAHAHAHA.


It feels almost unbearable with the dense amount of stress I'm undertaking - one assignment after another, revising for final exam, speaking to client and reporting them at work. I'm dreadful tired most of the time but whenever I view my very own achievements back in several social media sites, especially the current Love It! Sing It! on Facebook, I can be really motivated. I want to be the next Leo Burnett Star Reacher! Oh yesh, I will find my way to Chicago. *goes into depression mode*

As everything is slipping right out of my hands.

I'm at my worst mood.


Failure tasted awful. What more failing at such a vital routine in an established advertising firm. Blame myself for being weak, low esteem and almost none of self confidence. Apparently I freaked out, screwed up and fucked up. I had my chance to speak literally but I just couldn't say anything. My mind is still blank after 5 hours now. I cannot forgive myself to this shitty thing still.


How much I wish to restart today.


So I wouldn't have cried in the afternoon over a silliest prank. And burst out with fiery tears and uncontrollable anger. And that I could have attempt to the incident with a wiser approach at least. I really couldn't bring myself together after the breakdown. In fact I was at the edge of darkness when Nell kept blasting me with her usual encouraging tone.


I'm very disappointed, and guilty too for crashing my own dream, and destroying that hope she has on me. How am I supposed to feel good about it, tell me. This pain would probably last for a couple of days before I, hopefully, regain a positive conscious of the entire happening. One month to a newly turnover me, please. I shall prove myself once again.


Disasters do happened but it can only means better.


I WILL BE BETTER.

The whole world stops and stares for awhile.

Excuse me for not updating.


Because I'd come to a suicide period where assignments are at its peak! I hate this part right here but 3 more weeks to the end of my university, urgh! The clock is ticking faster than ever now. Do I tell people that I'm terrified of leaving the life I'm living or do I tell people I'm actually excited to enter the mad world of an advertising firm? Honestly both are equally saturated deep down.


For once I really like what I'm currently doing - enjoying everyday with a bunch of buds, unofficially working with my immediate superior, spending time with close friends and family whenever I want to or just resting at home feels as good as ever. But to think that these will only last for another month or so, my heart sank. Separation has always been the hardest thing to pull through. While starting anew life alone in a totally fresh environment would be toughest.


With much despairs, I wish I could survive these sorrowful upcoming events. :(


Anyway would like to take this sincere opportunity to thank all whom made my 21st a jolly one, although the dinner wasn't meant to be anything grand. But thank you dearests for showering me with tonnes of love, always. Not forgetting a blissful time spent with the beloved girlfriends and pals. Last but not least, thank you mummy daddy for all that happened. This birthday cost more than anything I could ask for really. 5k worth of prezzies and a fully sponsored night is absolutely hysterical.


Oh yes, blessed adulthood. ♥




It's been a blast weekend and hopefully a great 21st year ahead, cheers! :)

Thinking about us what we gonna be.

Hello from my 5 days old baby!

My body is currently running on very low power supply. I had less than 5 hours of sleep everyday this week with 123456789 tasks pending in my to-do-list! We screwed up our first presentation yesterday anyway, just because we were the first group to present and very irrationally, we weren't given ANY chance to explain ourselves wtf. I even fought with the lecturer for being a fucking unreasonable beast. What's with the low marks, damn him!

So we spent whole evening playing in the park to release anger and had a luxurious Arabian meal for dinner. Later at night, very spontaneously the boys came up with a wacky plan which lead to an overdose of hyperness. In just a split second, we started packing our bags and literally dashed out from the house the next minute. All we could do was screamed excitedly in the car and talked the usual cock.



Without realizing we were already chilling in our hotel place - muvee with the biggest flat screen, enjoying the coolest temperature, lying on the most comfortable couch and having the best companions.



Not forgetting after a nice hot bath at 12am. :D



And this painful bb gun! Never failed to be the victim fml.

We were happily crapping and digging in the night when suddenly the other housemate called and noticed we didn't left them with padlock key. We hesitated, and took all necessary precaution before we finally decided to drive back to Cyberjaya just to pass them the key and come all the way home to our initial plan.



To King of Fighter, muvee and supper!

Nude face at 5 freaking am. My third time in this house, camwhoring at the same sweet spot. :)



Waking up at 10am this morning to my surprise. This cheebye brother of mine is preparing breakfast yo! While another two watching Tom and Jerry. -_-



I still can't believe the fact that he was in the kitchen for us. T_T



Superb warm and lovely teehee.



Yummy homemade apple chocolate pancake. ♥

*** Photos courtesy of LG GT540.

Butterflies in my tummy.

No amount of anger could change this ugly truth. No amount of tears could soften this awful feeling. No amount of lies could bring myself together. It's funny how certain things turned upside down in just a blink of an eye. There is really no point chasing over everyone and trying to fix everything and then realizing they are all lousy crap. It's not about giving up, but living in a compound of optional taught me a couple of good lessons. I think I am getting better at hiding how I feel, and gotten busier with exotic school work. Which partially I'm quite happy with what I have today.

I have so much to say but I just don't have the energy to write them down anymore.