Failure tasted awful. What more failing at such a vital routine in an established advertising firm. Blame myself for being weak, low esteem and almost none of self confidence. Apparently I freaked out, screwed up and fucked up. I had my chance to speak literally but I just couldn't say anything. My mind is still blank after 5 hours now. I cannot forgive myself to this shitty thing still.
How much I wish to restart today.
So I wouldn't have cried in the afternoon over a silliest prank. And burst out with fiery tears and uncontrollable anger. And that I could have attempt to the incident with a wiser approach at least. I really couldn't bring myself together after the breakdown. In fact I was at the edge of darkness when Nell kept blasting me with her usual encouraging tone.
I'm very disappointed, and guilty too for crashing my own dream, and destroying that hope she has on me. How am I supposed to feel good about it, tell me. This pain would probably last for a couple of days before I, hopefully, regain a positive conscious of the entire happening. One month to a newly turnover me, please. I shall prove myself once again.
Disasters do happened but it can only means better.
I WILL BE BETTER.
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