Insaf.

Can you feel the guilt?

Feeling guilty is what happens when you feel you have not done something or you have done something badly - it is what is generated when you feel unsatisfied with your performance. Many at times, you often blame other factors that may have let yourself
down, that you have failed.

I wouldn't deny. I was wholly IMPRESSED by my results. Frankly, I was expecting something much much much more HIGHER than my current one. I think.. I totally got blown by this. Very terribly. When I first saw those eye sickening grades, it jolted me. DID I EVEN ACCESS TO THE CORRECT ACCOUNT? Fuck. No doubt indeed my login id.

When I got back to college that's when I realized most of them failed. The bloody fucking Cultural. He has got NO BALLS to place me at the border line by JUDGING HIS FUCKING ENGLISH! If I were to fail his paper I would have curse him to death no fuck. C is enough for me to curse him like nobody business. Only the few of them passed all 5 subjects, which includes me should I be glad? The thing is, I don't aim to JUST PASS!

I'm a kiasi and kiasu person. Seriously. It feels so naked holding a bad result. Because I'm very afraid of losing to others, I often compare myself. Be it in academic wise or whatever it is. I cannot afford to lose. I always seek for my pride. I wanna be the winner.

The truth is, what is done cannot be undone.

So here I am, being EXTRA hardworking this semester. Seriously insaf. Really and truly.

***

MME class today was rather.. adventurous. For the past one and a half year we had been forming our own group for assignments, as in we get to chose our team members. But for this particular subject, Miss Serene was kind enough to seperate all of us. Everyone including me suffered from nervous breakdown on the spot. You see, I had been dealing with my very own members, co-operate with 2 of them the best and always produced the BEST outcome *ahem really no joke* and what now? I AM LOSING MY BESTEST PARTNERS! Imagine how it feels like when we were about to risk our fate to select the new group members. Faint I tell you. However, I beginning to love the fun in her class !

It's all FATE. Really.

You go out there, be calm, close your eyes don't think of anything and just grab the piece of paper. I tell you, the more you don't wish that person to be your partner, the more it will be.
I shall say I am such a lucky girl and I am certainly happy with the lucky draws. =)

My inseparable partner Coomie is still with me! Hahaha. Fate man. My new mates will be Michelle and Gavin. Weeee. So grateful lar. And please guess our group's name?




BEAUTIES AND THE BEAST. GAVIN AND THE CHIPMUNKS.




LOL. Okay I know it's darn cute thank you no need to laugh like that.
Gosh. Damn excited with this assignment. Can go outdoor! WE WILL BE THE BEST! =)


Had our lunch at dunno what Spicy Cafe? At Genting Klang. Thanks to Eu Juan kor kor.

Cold salad mee. Very nice lehhhhhh.

And omg I super love the crispy fish cake. And the herbal tea. Bloated like hell. o_o

Drama class was.. fun at first sleepy towards the end. I can tell you I gonna die super die for this subject. Die until cannot die that type. HOW TO ACT LAR WEI ?!?! Almost every scenes there's kissing and hugging? Wtf. Sex also got damn obscene lar. I don't mind if that guy.. ahem you-know-who-guy is my partner. HAHAHAHA. Okay I'm just kidding. But seriously, nothing can be harder than this. The costumes, the props, the musics, the software, the skills, most importantly THE ACTING! Omfg. One word. DIE.

Awwwwwww today my prince damn charming lar omg. Semi formal with his striking hair and Nike sling bag. Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh so hot that I melted.. Why he so leng chai ! T______T

Dinner time was fun. I like hanging out with this gang now. Who knows why.. haha!

I'm loaded with tons of work already. Gonna insaf do homework and study!
Signing off.