Silence

" It's been the longest winter without you
I didn't know where to turn to
See somehow I can't forget you
After all that we've been through.. "

What is hidden in the thin air?

What is love to you? I'm being swept away by love. I'm lost in the jungle. I dunno what path I'm leading to. I wanted to give up, but giving up is not an option. I feel trapped. Homeless. I'm terribly hurt and injured. I didn't even know the feeling of being dumped can be this unbearable. It hurt so much that making sleep impossible. It hurt so much that I hardly breathe sometimes. Altho it's been awhile, I've cried my heart out. I soon realized life was never easy. The way out is not anywhere near sight.

What can you see through my eyes? I'm walking alone. My heart is full of emptiness. I often used excuses to patch up the loneliness. I still can't seems to find back myself. Love has brushed passed me. We were always stuck there at the most beautiful time. Your familiar warmth has never left me. Why is that so? Sometimes I felt there is a barrier between us. An invisible barrier. But at times, you're just so close to me.

In everybody's life, there will be one person that will play a vital role in someone life. Someone to confide their feeling, someone they can trust, someone they feel connected to. There is no why or how, it just happens out of thin air. I always wonder whether I made a wrong choice or not? Why did I let the mistakes ruined everything? I'm still in dilemma. I'm being delusional. I'm being emotional once again.

Life and death is a natural cycle of life. Yet, what is worst than death but the thought that you would no longer be remembered? No longer be able to hold the person you once love so much? No longer put your arms around the shoulder of one's who needs it so much? It is not until the time where you actually lose that someone that you feel the pain and sorrow. As the day reaches, you start to realise and accept that death is actually a phase that must occur. I can't help but to feel the helplessness, the feeling of missing the person, all kinds of memories start to flood in - happy, sad, bitter, sweet.. You actually feel the need and urge to be able to grab hold of that someone one more time, or at least for one last time..


But you can't.


* Drowning in my own sorrow *

Sounds easy but yet the hardest thing to achieve. The fact is, you can never have sunshine everyday. No matter how far we drifted apart, we're still living underneath the same sky. It is not in the stars to hold our destiny but in ourselves. Let destiny be my answer.

" Thought I couldn't live without you
It's gonna hurt when it heals too
Even though I really love you
I'm gonna smile cause I deserve too.. "

Yes I know, another emotional entry.
You cut me open and I..
Keep bleeding..


It just hit me again.