I spent RM250 in just 1 1/2 days. I'm totally mentally distraught.
I'm emo.
No doubt, I've been crying continuously for the past few days, part of it because of drama, but at the same time, crying over my own feelings. The feeling is hell torture. Whenever people talks about it, I still felt the impact. I wanted to ignore. I wanted to deaf my ear from listening. I wanted to blind myself from seeing. The truth is, I was the one who wants to find out about everything. I thought I was strong enough to go through this alone but no, I was wrong. It's not about love neither about hatred anymore but the feelings conquered every bits of my life. I'm losing completely. I don't even know what I want at this moment. Tears just flow down THAT easily. I really wanna burst out crying onto someone's shoulder. I need the comfort so badly. Nobody can ever give me back that warmth. Nobody. When I read back those familiar words, my heartache like nobody business. Nobody care no matter how hard I sob. Nobody know no matter how loud I cried. Nobody understand my so called complicated feelings. There's just nobody in my life.
Yes, I'm crying. Now.
You never feel my pain but that doesn't mean I'm not hurt You see me smiling everyday but that doesn't mean I'm happy
- Btw this post was suppose to be updated yesterday night but the STUPID internet connection just cut off suddenly. ARGH babi..! -
For the very first time in my life, someone fetched me to work today. Hee. I mean, besides my dad. Duh? Although I was late for an hour to office.. but who cares? I'm being very irresponsible and super restless nowadays. I missed the fun stuck-ing in jam. And very randomly, I fell in love with Wu Ke Qun's songs because of your cd. Like always, our time together can never be enough. Lol. Glad that you came. Thanksssss. =)
No name policy shall be reviewed here for my safety purpose. Private and confidential. Haha.
As expected, I went to the fruit stall ALONE today. The uncle asked, "Eh, kam yat yat kor yan geh? Kor gor leng chai leh?"Lol knew it. I replied, "Hei fat jor dat mm sai lei fan gong geh lar.." As what the leng chai taught me how to answer last week. Haha. As usual, the uncle gave me extra extra EXTRA guavas and cost me only RM2. That's my lunch. Then while heading back to office, I wasn't paying attention to my surrounding tho but suddenly, a school girl in SCHOOL UNIFORM obviously stoned in front of me with that.. very bo song face and dunno what kinda reaction. I stared at her with my eyes opened so BIG and stunt. WHY THIS FELLA SO DAMN FAMILIAR! Oh no I'm seeing ghost AM I?
We stared at each other for few seconds and there she goes.. " CIBAI YOU... "Ahh her form of greeting. The wild pretty cat. I damn regret never shoot back her MAHAI YOU.. Grrr! I'm a good girl. I'm innocent. I dunno what is foul language. @_@
I walked out to Masjid Jamek 3 times today which resulting me to GAIN weight instead of LOSING! Because.. I ate one stick of ice cream each time I went out. Wtf. I'M SUPPOSE TO FOLLOW MY DIETING PLAN!! Even the aunty in the shop laughed and said," Waaa ni zhek jiang dor ice klim hor.. "( in mandarin ) -___-
I noticed something recently. I'm becoming more like a *****. Am I? Since that incident, I totally changed my perception of thinking. I chose to hide my inner self and my fragile feelings. I became wild. I doubt at first but sooner or later I realized it's becoming more and more true. There's a little something bugging me. In another way, I've grown up into an evil person. I used to not be like now but see whats happening? I dunno whether I should continue being like that but the fact is, I chose to be one.
Oh well, this post is only meant for those who understand what I'm talking about. zzz..
Who do you turn to when the only person in the world that can stop you from crying, is exactly the one making you cry?
Never say goodbye when you still want to try. Never give up when you still feel you can take it. Never say you don't love a person when you can't let go.
Don't find love, let love find you. That's why it's called falling in love, because you don't force yourself to fall, you just fall.
It takes a minute to have a crush on someone, an hour to like someone, and an day to love someone... but it takes a lifetime to forget someone.
My piano skill is like going down the drain. When I finally lay my fingers on the keys, I was like.. how to play? Really swt. That is why I took the effort whole noon to polish up my skill. I still wanna be pianist. T____T I love teardrops on my guitar like hell hell hell! You will see me playing it soon. =)
Whole night I was with my baby girl lying down on the bed listening songs. With all the kids surrounding us. Damn noisy. The room almost explode. -__-
Awwww she so damn cute. ^^
That's bout Saturday.
Sunday suppose to be shopping day but I ended up buying NOTHING. How sad. Everyone bought at least something. One piece of t-shirt? Ahhh dunno why. Everything seems so neutral to me, nothing attracts my attention nor make me hyper. Sigh. Eh? I didn't mention where. o_o
A day at Sunway Pyramid with 2 guys and 2 girls including me. I so damn wanna skate actually. The skating rink.. *looking at it and start crying*Haha. 3 fellas were kinda depressed to skate. Anyhow, we started off with having lunch at Pizza Hut. Later on, walked here and there searching for clothings. Unfortunately.. *sigh* Everything seems so expensive to me suddenly. I got so many things to buy yet.. zero result again. Come to think of it, Michelle was the only one keep buying stuffs while us as her bodyguards and consultants. I'm so gonna shop again next week. But wait.. do I have the time to shop next week? Ahhh my schedule is fully booked. Wth. I need to see my salary as soon as possible if not.. I'm so gonna broke.
Thanks to our driver who fetched us around, from Kajang - Cheras - Ampang - Subang - Cheras - Ampang - Cheras - Kajang? Lol. Feel so guilty suddenly. Anyway, it's been awhile since me and my family went out for dinner. A very delightful dinner.
Grape pearl bubble milkshake xD
I told my dad I wanted to drive and his reaction kinda bo song at first. He gave so many excuses omg.. go town alot of cars lar.. you dunno the road well.. your judgement very poor.. at night not that safe.. Blah, never ending. After some hardcore persuasions, he finally agreed. Just because of my one sentence - YOU DON'T LET ME DRIVE HOW I WANNA LEARN, FOREVER CANNOT GROW. He speehless. Weee~
Well hmm, overall I felt my driving skill improved? Even my dad said my cornering more accurate this time. Lol. He seldom praise me. But I'm still very stupid at parking. I don't like those super small space where you gotta squeeze your car in. Swt. Yeah I know you wanna say I'm NOOB. Got it.
Brickfield Buddhist Maha Vihara temple.
All in all, it's great spending time with cousins, friends and family. <3
Someone called me at 3am and told me he's drunk? Lol. So funny lar. I think you probably dunno what you're crapping to me that time. Too high dy. -__- I slept at 6.30am and woke up at 3pm today due to some unexpected incident. A superb fun incident which make me highly addicted to it now. This is bad.. real bad. =(
Ahhh finally my cravings for steamboat was fulfilled..! weeee~ We headed to Yulek - Chung Huat for our dinner. =)
Desperate for food T_T
Throwing everything in? Huhu~
Nice eggie. xD
I still remember we played.. chopstick whacking? Lol.
Overall, a very nice dinner. The night ended very early. At least to me it's EARLY. Sad. Our discussion lasted VERY long but it came to a zero conclusion? I seriously don't wanna stay at home and rot considering it's FRIDAY night wei. Omg. Why so LIFELESS??!!
At that very moody moment, someone sms-ed me. Guessed what? I asked him to find me to the extend of boringness. (in a joking manner actually) Surprisingly, he AGREED. Lol. It's already 12am and we still went all the way for a coffee? I felt guilty for having you to fetch me and touring around the town. But honestly, I was very happy to see you. Since the day you called me and text me, I'm very happy. I feel so comfortable hanging out with you. So much things I wanna talk about but the time is so limited for us. Although I knew those words and sweet talks are fake, but I couldn't help liking it. I really appreciate what you've done all this while. You know who are you and definitely, you make me smile at the end of the day. =)
I hope we can do this more often because I know you will miss me. xP
I slept at 4am and woke up at 9am? Wth. I'm suffering from insomnia.
" Please enter your mailbox number.. please enter your security code.. "
" You have 50 new messages.. to listen press 5.. "
See that. My job? Boring like hell. Sienzzz. Nevermind. The problem is, some customers really stupid? Extremely speechless.
" Hello HP ar.. I wanna know whether I'm entitle for the Citibank Shell promotion.. coz if yes I wanna purchase the HP Presario C769TU notebook.. and wish to further upgrade to higher specifications.. I want Window Vista.. blah blah blah.. please call me back as soon as possible.. "*tut tut tut*
I took the time to jot down his enquiry and what the heck? WHAT IS YOUR NUMBER?! Ouh you idiot. Call back to invisible number? So cool. CALL 999 LAR! Dulan nia.
Wanna know my daily routine in office? It will be definitely interesting. =)
8.30 - Sign in, on my pc, check outlook and access share point.
9.00 - Breakfast at pantry
9.30 - Start youtube-ing, friendster-ing, facebook-ing, reading blogs, google-ing and whatever I can do with the Internet. Btw the connection suxxx!
10.30 - Listen to voicemails (am) and order logging if there's any. If not, listen to songs.
11.30 - Off to pantry yamcha, read newspaper and chit chatting.
12.10 - Start watching Prison Break (40 minutes per episode)
1.00 - Lunch. ( Happiest time of the day weee~ )
2.00 - Splurged on magazines, romance stories and online shopping.
2.45 - Continue watching Prison Break while eating fruits.
3.30 - Tea time at pantry.
4.00 - Prison Break again. Play Sushi-Go-Round.
5.00 - Listen to voicemails (pm). Assign agents. Start packing. Go toilet. Wash cup.
5.25 - Close all programmes. Ready to countdown..
5.30 - Shut down pc. BALIK!
I've been doing these for the past 6 days? Including today. Yesh, I'm eating blind salary. =)
Here's something more interesting. She so damn damn damn DAMN CUTE!!!
Omg. Her eyes BLUE colour wei omg damn pretty. I'm in love with her. She's my girl. MY GIRL! -___- Rex, this is what you called CUTE! SUPER CUTE! EXTREMELY CUTE! CUTEST! WHATEVER CUTE! Even your *** *** not as CUTE as this. wuuuuu~
Not to mention the lunch part, kena CON kau by my aunt. She told us the food there NOT BAD. And when we were looking at the menu, " Waaa bu chuo wor.. " Unfortunately when it comes to the REAL ones, almost puke. I nearly kena bang by a car. Few seconds away. KK grabbed my hand straight away. @_@ I turned pale immediately. Not my first time tho. Something vain happened today. I was merely standing and wanted to walk over to the massage chair when suddenly I felt something.. not right. I kept quiet and realized, OMFGGG MY TOE NAIL BROKE WTFFF! The whole nail ALMOST came off and I was so freaking scared. T______T My cousin experienced this before and that is why I totally freak out. Her toe nail broke and she actually went to the doctor to pull off the whole nail. CAN YOU IMAGINE HOW PAIN IS THAT??!! LUCKY MINE DIDN'T BLEED! I felt like crying when she told me the nightmare. I was thinking.. DIE LAR THIS TIME! And KK beside me was like.. "Lai lar..see..just pull it off.. "*trying to grab my leg* At the very climax moment, both of them kept laughing and ended up I laughed madly with them with my toe injured. Mental case. T_______T
Every year it's been tradition that we celebrate Mother's Day and my grandmother's birthday together? Yeah, same goes this year. As expected, we had our family gathering dinner last Sunday. But sadly, I was kinda dissapointed with the restaurant. The food very normal. Lousy environment. Poor service. Oops should I stop complaining and be glad to have food feeding me? NO! I'm not satisfied with that dinner at all. =(
Shark fin soup - nicest among all. Duh?
Fish. Duh?
Er.. "Sau Mee"? I guessed so. =X
SATAYSSSSSSSS! weee~
I purposely asked all of them to FREEZE to take pic. And right after I took, *boom*
ALL GONE!
C.O.C.O.N.U.T
Damn nice "wor peng"..
As usual, we cousins chatted and gossips about latest news of course. Busy updating our lifes to each others while fooling around. And guessed what, news spread really FAST. I wonder who is that medium who did the job so efficiently. Obviously, I'm the victim. Lalala~ Is like I'm the prisoner being asked questions after questions on what happened to find whether I'm guilty anot? Sigh. I need that answer too.
After meal.. our place.. =/
So messy..
Nothing better to do with the camera..
Time to cut the cake. xD
Happy Mother's Day + Happy Birthday. Woot. Combo. =)
We didn't take pictures due to the noisy surrounding and bad situation. Super packed with HUMANS. Later after dinner, we resorted to grandma house since it's still early for us. Kids went back earlier as they got school the next day. And so, we all sat by the corner chit chatting. My cousin brother, really joker. His dumb reaction make me laughed like hell. We.. bluetooth as usual. Weee~ It's always fun talking to them about lifes, problems and whatever it is. Although sometimes you might get annoying and nonsense feedbacks. Haha. But I still love it. =)
