Friday Blues

I woke up this morning only to find myself unsure of the feelings again. I'm not going to deny I still feel something, I still do, very much. It's amazing how those bittersweet memories blend through my emotions, making me cry and smile at the same time.

Today's been a pretty gloomy day. I've once promised myself to push everything behind and just brave each day with a smile. Sometimes, I can't stand how much I've been tearing myself apart. It's hard to wait around for something you know might never happen. But it's even harder to give up when you know it's all you ever wanted. I avoid hoping because I'm afraid. Afraid of everything I'm afraid of. Hope always leads to disappointment after all. So please just stop me from hoping further. Things are always easier said than done, no?

Blah. I have zero idea why am I feeling so blah right now. Loneliness do kills you see. I don't like waking up, doing things alone only to realize I have no partner to deal with. It's torturous having no one by your side to share everything with, maybe? I need a hug so badly.

Anyway, exactly one month away from today, is going to be my birth day. Honestly speaking, I'm not even close to being excited, nor being happy either. I used to, not now anymore. The main reason would be part of my close friends will be away. Definitely, saddening. What can we do without their laughters. I supposed, it won't be that happening no more compared to previous celebrations we had. Second, I have no special person to celebrate with this year. I mean, yeah if you get what I mean. My family usually don't celebrate, but it's okay. My other friends, I highly doubt. My cousins, I don't expect much from them though. Everyone is busy with their love life, understandable. I'm not trying to make myself sound pathetic but common. Reality bites.

What used to make me smile, now makes me fawn.
What used to give me warmth, now gives me cold.

It's feels hard to actually come to a conclusion thinking that no one will celebrate with you. I wouldn't be ashame to admit. I do hope for a guy to bake me a cake, present me with homemade gifts, doing all sorts of silly stuffs to cheer me, hug and kisses me in the middle of the night with candles all around and shower me with much love. Or surprise me in front of the house gate when the clock struck 12. Who wouldn't? Of course, I wish the someone would be the one I hope for. But huh. I don't see the day coming.

I always wanted to have a simple yet memorable birthday, that possibly touches my heart and most likely to make me cry like mad woman. I wouldn't go for a romantic one, because I have none boyfriend to romantic with at this moment. No matter how much you wished, it still goes back to square one. Friends. I need them more than anything else. I'm not even demanding for presents like how I usually did. But hey, I seriously need a watch. But then again. I'm very choosy that I must only choose on my own. Sigh. I'm not bitching here trying to show off anything or whatsoever. I'm sad. Damn sad can?

In the end, it's all plain wishes.

Random news. MICHELLE WILL BE COMING BACK TOMORROW! Omfg. Time flies. Seriously, 3 months passed like 3 days. I bet she had loads of fun over there. Oh no, she actually told me SHE DON'T WANNA COME BACK SO FAST! Addicted to their lifestyles perhaps. Tonight probably her last night at Paris or.. wait a minute. I think she's on the plane now! Omfg. What if she comes back holding an ang moh's hand? Omfg. What if the ang moh is too handsome that I fall for him also? Shit. My brain is full of nonsense. I wanna meet her but I have no idea what time is her flight arriving? On a side note, I've been to KLIA 3 times within these 3 months, not for my traveling sake but for sending off! Omfg.

Btw, the mail-blog thingy is hilarious. Those words.. failed to make me smile. Instead, they make me burst out laughing all the way! I tell you, the moment you start reading, it drives you crazy. I just dunno why it can be so funny. Li, you got potential be joker for real. CONGRATULATIONS AGAIN MY DEAR DUMB DOGGY! You're not dumb at all man. Swt.

Oh, and I learned a new thing reading this person's blog.
xoxo = asshole asshole.

So much to say.
So much I can't say.

Because of You

MERDEKAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! I'm free from jail exams. Weeee ~

Yes H-O-L-I-D-A-Y. But then, what to do ah? No part time jobs yet. Uhh I actually rejected a few promoter vacancies because lazy hell torturing lar. My aunt gone to Saigon how lar? I wanna work at the HP roadshows. Sounds interesting. Sounds. =(

Anyway, I finally went dating today. Lol. Yeah because of that, I gonna blog about this person which I had known him since 2 YEARS OLD <-- according to your beloved brother. Hahaha. Nah, I know this guy since our childhood for uncountable years actually. Basically, we do meet up every year, played and dine together without talking! Uhuh weird. You don't even wanna smile and greet me back then. We used to just know each other by names, oh wait.. YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW MY NAME DON'T YOU? I think you probably know me by..
"Oh.. this girl.." The girl who never fails to leave the gambling table. -__-

After wasted more than 10 years, we officially get to know each other in person under some circumstances. The reason behind erm you know I know. *wink* Very unexpectedly, we got along superbly well that our relationship bloom faster than ever. Lol. I mean, we became very very very close within just few months, hanging out and talking more than ever.

YES THIS IS DEDICATED SPECIALLY FOR YOU REALLY AND TRULY =)

You're the one who stands by me during my falls.

You're the one whom I share my thoughts with.

You're the one who makes me smile when I cry.

Bi, are you touched? This post is so meant for you to cry ahh! Must cry faster cry I don't care! Hahaha. Omfg imagine your MUMMY sees these pictures right in front of her eyes you sure kantoi-ed. Not me. Lol. She's gonna bug you like nobody business. Weeee.

"YOU PAKTOH WITH EU JIN AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH?"

Oh, and the news will go spreading around to those people at your side and mine. Eh seriously never thought I'm so famous among your family side. Huhu so bangga.

And maybe the next thing your mum surely ask you like how she asked you the other day.
"CALL EUJIN LAR ASK HER COME OVER.. REMEMBER CALL EUJIN AHH.."
Lol. And there she goes keep repeating the line to you like a recorder. =p

Or worse still, she'll call me directly on my mobile and ask whether I'm free to go over your place for dinner? She has my number! Hahaha. Okay I shall stop my crappy imaginations.

But but.. show har your mum THE SON TOOK PICTURE WITH LENG LUI AHH! *maaf I self claim geh* Ehehehe bi you don't mind hor? I know you won't mind of course. Rofl. Memorable pictures lar must share share gah don't so selfish kay. But don't go showing your sister ahh. I scared she will whack me for seducing you. Lol. She hou fierce. o_o"

Btw, Thailand horror movie sucks! Con my money wtf. THANKS FOR THE SUSHI AND ICE-CREAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM AH BI.. xoxo hugsss and kissesssss


* MY HAIR COLOR NO LONGER RED SO SAD! Now more like.. rusty color. The thing is, EVERYONE SAID MY HAIR COLOR SO PRETTY NOW! =/

ps: If you're wondering what's our relationship, hmm it's complicated! Don't ask. Lol.
ps to you: Biiiiii hope ni happy luking at meeee orhx ^_^Y HAHAHAHA!

Saturday the 13th - Updated

My mum said it's Saturday the 13th. Not Friday the 13th. Why so scandalous?

Anyway, so happy yesterday. Met up with so many people of my life. Loves. =)

Fuck cultural. I ain't gonna complain how shit the paper was. Shit or not life still goes on.
Ahhh got bigger things happening to tell. Hahaha.

First. Mr. Red has red hair again! Sweats. The main point was HE CALLED MY NAME SO LOUD IN THE PUBLIC THEN SAID HI AND SMILED TO ME! Yeah very big deal okay. So sudden. Too sudden. I didn't ask for such thing to happen after I long gave up on him. Although I did hoped before but that was already past tense. WHY NOW ONLY ! =(

I WAS IN SHOCKED that I didn't know what stupid reaction I gave. Now that I think back, did I even smile back at him? Wtf. DAMN STUNNED OKAY. But then I tell you his smile was so mesmerizing until can melt in the heart wtf.

So unexpected. So happy. *tears of joy*

Next of course my animals! Sort of last reunion before Shien Jean flies off to UK. And also because nobody is missing in this gathering. Woohoo how rare is that. So happy lar. Basically we did nothing, just eating and talking for hours at Dain Ti Hill. Oh! How can we not take pictures with the 6 STAR SUPERSTAR there. Ahem see I so give face to you okay. =p

*Pictures updated. Didn't upload all coz' too lazy.
Btw damn lazy to put captions also so see see yourself lar kay.. I AM VERY LAZY! =(

Starry starry chopsticks with cheese tofu xD

Beef steaks train xD

This is the cutest picture we ever have. LOOK AT KAILI!
Sorry I cannot stop laughing. ~__~

Kuma-kuma in the picture also xD

This. is. definitely. the. nicest. prettiest. bestest. picture. of. the. day. =)
*hearts*

o_o

*wink* =p

Shadows of us. =/

So happy with the gathering. =)

We had our window shopping session at Pavillion. Then Yen suddenly slowed down, giving the omg stare and said something which I pretty doubt at first. "I saw beaver. Just passed by. Right in front of us." The next thing I know, Nar spotted him as well and go around telling the whole world "OMFG BEAVER IS HERE. HERE!" Speechless. -___-

I was so blind that I couldn't see him. Some people also blind so don't just blame me! Again, I was exceptionally shocked. So unexpected again. WHY LAR MAKE ME HEART ATTACK TWICE IN FEW HOURS wtf. I don't know how to define the feelings.

But I was rather happy. Lol.

Later in the evening. I was forced to go grandma's house. Then again SHOCKED. This person rang up asking me to teman him yam cha. Sweats. Since he so kind offered me a ride, why not eh? Hahaha. And I think you will never ever guess who this person is.

Beaver.

A simple yet pleasant meeting. I shall thank him for the drink. =)

Initially I was in very much anger thinking that I will be rotting in grandma's house alone. But a super last minute plan creep up with the arrival of my thai cousin. We all, as in my aunts, uncles and cousins all went over to Aunt Kelly's new house. So fun. And.. my husband was there too! So unexpected lar. Hahaha. I enjoyed gatherings like this very much, doing nothing just sit down talk about life, drink tea and eat mooncakes. No regrets going over.

We talked, talked and talked.
Finally. After 4 months of separation bi. *shy shy hugs*

Omfg her house interior design damn nice. I even told the house owners I wanna move in and stay together gether. Lol. See below you will know why.

Toilet with bathtub can jacuzzi T__________T

A ROOM FOR WARDROBE! WHATDAHELL T_________T
Something like the one in Sex and the City.

PERSONAL HOME THEATER SYSTEM. WTFcuk?
It's another room inside the bedroom like a mini cinema. o_o

Kelvin's room. Roof top concept cun-ted lar. T__________________T

SIGH. Enough pictures to make me sad.

Everything happened too sudden before I can digest them all. I'm still in the midst of accepting those facts that it actually happened. Omg. I'm feeling over-joyed am I? I wonder..

SO HAPPY fullstop

ps: I ate the fortune cookie last night and it says something that sounded so true. It makes me moved a little. T_____T

You gave me the reason to smile,
And just make everything disappear..

Photoshoot

Vain pictures ahead. If you do not wish to continue viewing, kindly proceed to the top right of the page and click on the exit button. For fastest way, hit Alt F4. Thank you.

It all started with a kiss picture.

I simply took out the camera to camwhore for the sake of camwhoring duh. Then he suggested to play photoshoot at 2 in the morning! Like who else can be his model victim besides this cute fat chubby innocent girl. *maaf self praise*

I was abit drunk back then. *cheek so red shy
The wine tasted ultimate bad, it makes me dizzy a little.

I like this picture with the eggie tart but why so blur !! =(

Supposedly candid but hmm..
Oh and because we were too bored we even counted how many colours
are painted onto my house walls and omg 6 different colours!
*Didn't realize also after staying for 4 years? Heh noob..

Photographer says : Purposely take half of the pig's face wan
because I got photography skill.
Me says : Skill my foot! *puke* o_o"
*Paiseh. Ignore my messy room..

This is so cute yet so different. Hehehehehehehehehehe =)

This is my baby boy who hasn't bath since the day he was born?
Awwww never mind, still so adorable. Cheez. =)

Getting sleepier.. see my eyes getting sepet-er. Lol.

We took more than 100 photos just that night. o_o
These are some selected ones which I personally like them. =)

Last but not least.

Edited/Chalk and charcoal effect.
Is like.. living in the world of fantasy hor? =)

Hmm taking picture at the right angle is very important. Certain angle makes you look fat. Not just plump but fat. While some makes you look even uglier considering its already ugly at the first place. Haha. Just a little note from me. So which angle are you?

My mummy bought a big big packet of those satay keropok today. Which resulted to a non-stop munching marathon in the family. Dad munched while reading newspaper. Mum munched while watching the mooncake show. And me munching while studying and oops, there goes the last piece into my mouth. Sigh what to do. Blame the keropok lar!

I'm not done with revision actually. But it seems like NOTHING flows into my brain. Total blank that kind. Seriously that bad. I dunno why is this happening, am so annoyed and irritated. It makes me feel so much like a failure. To make the matter worse, I gave up and came online. How great is that. Bravo.

* Well oh well. I am all ready to fuck the paper tomorrow. Huhu. =(

Put that aside. LOOKING FORWARD TO WEEKEEDS! Weee should be a fruitful weekend ahead so happieeeeeeeeee. Missing my lovesssss so muchie.
I'm coming babeh wait for me muackssssss! <3

* my darlings messages are just so sweet and touching that I have to tears. T____T