Empty promises. Commitments. Responsibilities. Irrationality.
Selfishness. Security. Understanding. Reassurance. Toleration.
Words can be mere lies.
There are times I wish none of this ever happened, that things would go back to how they used to be. I'm being pissed still over the whole incident for some particular reasons. Call me small gas or whatsoever, so what. Small little things do have its own value. Small little things do meant something. Small little things are still things. That doesn't mean it can be anything less important. That doesn't mean it can be cared less. That doesn't mean it can be neglected like that. At least, it meant something to me.
I really can't handle it when tension arises. It makes me realize how weak I am after all. I held on to the hope that things would work out. I held on to the hope that things would change.. for the better. I was told so;promises. But today, thoughts teared me apart while I drive. The more hope I place, the more disappointed I am bound to feel each day. I really shouldn't have any expectations, is that so? Yet, I'm bottling up with so many emotions.
Wrong signals. Wrong impressions. Wrong everything.
We're constantly being led on. We're constantly being deceived. We're constantly living under false illusions. We're constantly confused about every goddamn thing.
Sometimes you just can't help the way things end up.
Caught this real HUGE spider crawling during today's practice. I was living in denial for quite sometime
and that's how I landed myself in this whirlwind of emotions.
I've been having expectations for a lot of things, from a lot of people.
I knew it was a stupid thing to have done from the start.
Yet I held on to those expectations.
and that's how I landed myself in this whirlwind of emotions.
I've been having expectations for a lot of things, from a lot of people.
I knew it was a stupid thing to have done from the start.
Yet I held on to those expectations.
I tried not to burst for once. I couldn't.
Because things changed.
I knew it. I knew it a long time ago.
I just didn't want to believe it.
It took me awhile to realize how useless my attempts were.
It took me awhile to notice how much I was draining out of myself.
And end up with nothing more nothing lesser.
I've been hurting myself with hopes.
Expressions I needed to express.
Leave.Me.Alone.
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