We gonna light it up like it's dynamite.

Happy Mid Autumn! :D

The weather is extremely cooling today, not like the usual sauna at home! I just woke up to a mild hangover and made myself a nutritious brunch anyway. The boys are already starting on their assignment while I still erm, enjoying my half boiled eggs, tuna cheese bacon and garden salads yum. They even bought me cream puff and kaya toast this morning hmm. I need plenty of food here I don't know why. T__T



Single yolk and butter cream mooncake for our very own pesta tanglung heehee.



Cute lanterns we bought from Petaling Street the other day.



Aww reminds me so much of childhood.



Lovely. ♥



Big kiddos! :D



Retarted face.



I feel like pushing him down the pool, oh well.



Ahh pretty... the candles. ♥



This is my birdie! It is known as a tweet bird + piranha fish species wtf.



Okay birdie and me smiling happily. :)



What is this photographer cannot see my pretty paper lantern hmph!



My best brothers ever. ♥



Died on this vodka. I sucked at playing drinking games with them!



♥



♥ ♥



♥ ♥ ♥



Yeay to our mid autumn partay. :D



Both my partners in crime nyeh!



The cheebye like to act cute brother! :)



Two gangster tai ko!



People from many walks of life. ♥



Mega success self timer picture!



Wee~

I wish we could play like this every night without needed to worry about having assignment on hand. But the fact that thesis writing is such a pain in the ass! I wrote 10 pages long and my mind stuck entirely. I don't know how to proceed with 123456789 journals to read and analyze fml. On the darker side, we even delayed our marketing proposal submission to the following week because we really couldn't cope with things. (but apparently we made up stories because we had approached the company for an interview and surprisingly they accepted our walk in application hooray!)

I think I shall cook maggie with extra vege teehee. :)

No regrets, just love.

Back to serious work tomorrow. I will not fail myself again, because all that I'm going through will, without reservation, END in exactly 8 weeks time. I know I can do this!

Step to the beat of my heart.

First thing first, I am feeling a little nostalgic at the moment. It's funny but I haven't been as optimistic as I once was over the past months, which explains the death of emotions in this space. These days I'm content just drinking things in with the eyes, and don't feel the same need to tell or show anyone what I saw. Most of the time I like to just be quiet and be far away into my own thoughts. Because literally I don't quite know what to say anymore.

It's a strange feeling. I'm perpetually feeling like I'm out of my element and drifting away. Perhaps my most consequential handicap is my inability to make choices and never look back. Such certainty and self-confidence seems almost fictional to me sometimes. Watching 'Growing Through Life' reflects so much of life stories. It reminds me of what best relationships are - the ones with obligations that don't feel like obligations, where so much is instinctively understood that not much needs to be said.

I'm often surprised that I'm still surprised but my application for one just keeps bouncing. I constantly tried to wipe things out but still annoying little traces remain. I think I've paid enough penance to let those traces evaporate by its own. I lost my way, being gashed at by people whom I trusted with my entire heart, stopped trusting altogether for awhile, and forgot how to numb myself to things that just weren't worth it. It was a set of blinders that threw me down a direction that just wasn't meant for me. I got very scared.

Life is contradicting. It wraps around us like a scarf, distracting us from what we think we know, luring us into its lair, confusing us, confounding trust, and then one day it just leaves. It is utterly surreal how everything is inflated in such a short period and upside down. My heart has been irreverently displaced by something seemed so harmless in the beginning. Never knew it can cause this load of damage to oneself. I was angry, and hated that part brutally but I've officially come to a point where it's all no longer worth the anger and hatred. I like to tell myself that everything is just alright.

Evidently, this is a completely awful trade. I don't mind being foolish at all time, but what I truly mind is the idea of sincerity, the initiative, the appreciation. It is the importance of making it day in and day out that counts. This is something I really care about which resulted why I always fall into deeply knit relationships with people around me. Very often, I invest too much of affections into a certain bounder of circle and then leaving them to marinate for too long; thus losing control of how to slip them off me. I'm very disappointed with my own ineffectiveness and lack of resilience.

God determines who walks into your life. It is up to you to decide who you let to walk away, who you let to stay, and who you refuse to let go. Oh well, just another long rant to clear things off my chest. But apparently this rant will go nowhere because for sure, there are still complications that I'm not over with yet. Just the other day we came to a disagreement with the school regarding our studies, they sucked. It's sickening to hear promises that does not give me any reassurance; do I need to crack my whole life to have just a please ending? Oh god, have mercy.

I had a blissful mid semester break fighting away misery for a bit; meeting up with people from all over the places. Last weekend I had my best time spent with Nell, Rae, Laurent and few others doing raya hopping. It was my pleasure to have such honor privilege even as a former intern to be able to join them socially. Then catching up with two of my closest buddy, the group of animals and the not-so-cheebye brothers consecutively. Just today Alson and I made a trip down to Leo Burnett with a handful of our homemade chocolate cupcakes and had lunch with the most hilarious bunch of colleagues.

I missed pillow fighting with the guys in game room. I missed random coffee time with my superiors. I missed poking on the 50 cents vending machine. I missed playing with Andrew's bb gun and making fun of Delex's collection. I missed slacking my ass and wandering in the office. I missed how Nell pampered me everyday and bullied me with care. I missed being her full time assistant even with sleepless night. It's incredibly weird to be so emotional about a job, what more a really short two-month thing, but I actually felt so much attachment to it. It's been an awesome journey so far and they shall continue...

It was the wake up call that I really needed.

Feel the lows before the highs.

Phew. Day like this gives me heart attack. Nearly couldn't make it to school for our assignment submission at 5pm today. Cheebye traffic with fucking big rain, what else is worse! I was soaking wet from running to the train station and literally knocked my Ipod to the wall fml. It's 4.30pm by the time we got into the library and stupid printing machine won't load my stuff wtf. 4.50 we were still sorting out documents and started cursing like barbarians. Racing to the faculty almost on time to see Mr. Loo glaring at us. But despite being his pet students, he accepted our apology and gave good remark still.

Thank God it's horidae! I need sleep.

Something that were like those years.

Coming home to comfort zone is a bliss! The weather is insanely hot imagine I could have died sleeping without aircond back in the freaking ovenlike apartment. Plus some bee's carnival going around our house the other night, we screamed and killed 6 of them wtf. I think my life is in danger.

Many say I'd lose weight but looking at the portions of food I consumed this whole week, my fats probably increased by 2kg fml. Buffet dinner at Coffee Terrace, fish head curry at Lao Di Fang, roadtrips down south, buffet lunch at Redbox, buka puasa with heavenly Indonesian cuisines and a bloated yong tau fu brunch with the boys. My slimming interest is seriously going nowhere.

Anyway since I'm partially sick on a zombified Sunday morning (excuse to procrastinate from assignment awhile), here goes our roadtrip pictures!



9am, bright and sunneh!



Seremban market environment.



Famous beef noodle, hakka noodle and variety of yong tau fu for breakfast.



Jin & Lin.



Kl & Sj.



We were trying to explore Seremban so we googled for a random location via GPS.



And we ended up in Seremban2 City Park for good.



Animal language that is.



Peace and serenity. :)



Loving the lakeview.



Ahh when can I have my own DSLR to take such nice composition picture!



♥ my pastel blue nails.



I think this is the best shot throughout the trip but sadly, over exposure.



Blue blue sky.



Yes, wtf. Credit to the photographer!



Swinging moments.



1 ♥ 2 ♥ 3 ♥ 4 ♥ 5



We reached Malacca around noon and started touring.



Killer weather!



Oh, it's Malaysia 53rd Independence Day by the way.



"Hello, this is crazy I'm sweating like mad." -_-



Donald and Lily's cottage cendol.



Introducing the co-photographer of the day. :)



The touristy street.



Signature alien in Jonker.



Cool in front, peace behind. =/



Mua chi.



None other than Malacca chicken rice ball.



Our skins were all burned.



Cat going through her re-piercing process. :p



Retard.



Enjoying our egg shaped ice-cream.



Next stop was Ming Sate Hut.



How I missed the pork satays! T__T



Nadeje's Mille Crepe. We had the original, strawberry and tiramisu. ♥



Teehee you want some?



Nyonya cuisine for din.



Pretty squirrel who is back for the Summer.



Doggy*Cat*Squirrel*Ducky*Piggy



Erm, distractions.



People of the trip. :)



Our final destination before speeding home.



Paying off our beloved siew paos.

So that's about our merdeka trip. Okay I should start working on my ads summary before disappearing with the couz later. Time to do our usual bonding thing! :D

Wake me up when September ends.

I think I've never been quite the same since the day I found my newly promoted side.

As I sit here in a confined living room alone, I ponder on what is the meaning of life again. To think that my journey have been an incredibly whirlwind emotional of outbursts overload... to think that I have not been enjoying to the bit and pieces of my life... to think of the contentment and refine love from people surroundings... to think of all the painful and heartbreaking moment of my life... to think that certain events have been completely life-changing... to think that things come and gone... to think that my life has barely just begun...



In the face of such revelations, I wish I could stop myself from feeling hurt, or caring, but that's just bullshit. I wish to erase history, or turning back time but evidently this is something I'm never getting back. It had me realized nothing will ever be right don't they? We often forced to make painful decisions in life. Sometimes I think I'm too weak to walk down this path any longer. I tried escaping from agony, avoiding that kinda misery, deleting unwanted journals - but at the end of the day it still boils down to reality.

Apparently I still need the courage to continue walking.



Mesmerizing fireworks up in Genting. :)



Typing these words seem a lot harder than usual today.

After all that happened, I'm actually fine. I'd cried for many overwhelming sadness and that's how I grown up. I may have fall but I will be strong to stand up on my own once again. I may have nothing in my life now but I'm fairly sure to have everything soon. Because I see a glimpse of hope shimmering along the road and a blooming career awaiting. Meanwhile, I'm pretty confident in scoring most of my assignments so far. Everything is progressing reasonably well and far ahead from deadlines. :)

So there goes my 5 days worth of holiday.