Why do you build me up just to let me down.

Just came back from badminton and some night driving.

It feels good to sweat when you're feeling.. out. And sorta to distress. My friend said I'm healthy because I sweat till my clothes and hair all wet as if I just done playing in Sunway Lagoon. -__- Lose 4 rounds to him, so not fun.

Today was supposed to be in college at 8am but I fucking overslept. Woke up at 11.30 only to find out that I have 31 missed calls. Shit. Why did I put on silent mode! My group of friends all went for lab replacement without me, no way I'm going to class alone tomorrow so I am skipping it anyway. My one attendance gone just like that wtf.

Some days ago. Somewhere in One Utama.





Pile of notes waiting for me to read on. In short, I haven't been making much progress studying despite battling with assignments. So much of survival.

I guess tomorrow's a pretty fine day to start studying since I seldom got the chance to rest in peace during weekends. Not like I have no class every Friday, should be glad tomorrow.

Recently, been feeling rather unsociable. I don't really talk to people unless they find me. Or those who knows what I've been feeling. Lost touch with this person, I dunno what is happening in this person's life anymore. But looks like you're enjoying yourself. Nothing seems to be bothered. I should know what am I to you.

Do I want to fight the fire,

Or do I want to watch it burn?

Apparently sleep deprivation is a factor to weight gain. I better be sleeping now.

The walls start breathing my mind's unweaving.

Random.. random.. random..

1. OMG WE ARE FINALLY DONE WITH DRAMA! Excluded class presentation though but STILL. Overcome the hardest scene, the toughest and most challenging part for this semester. It's really insane I tell you. Acting makes life harder.
   
   
   Director.
   
   
   Hairstylist wannabe. -__-
   
   Setting camera angle.
   
   
   
   
   Was too bored while waiting for my scene.
   
   
   
   Our Ah Sei aka Mr Four. Helped me to mop the whole house some more.
   
   See the ah sei always buat kacau. o_o
   
   The ah sei so clever took out whatever in my fridge and cook them. And told my mum he is a professional cook. -__-
   
   
2. WE TOOK 24 HOURS TO PRODUCE A 15 MINUTES ROLE PLAY kanasai. Seriously, it's not easy. Hell freaking dread tired. But of course seeing the end result, all hard work paid off. Sorry video file too big to upload here.
   
   
3. So because of drama also, I've been driving alot. Here and there to buy stuffs, here and there to fetch people, here and there to practice.
   
   
4. Been eating at 1am for the past 2 days. Lunch + dinner + supper altogether. In between we had so much snacks to feed the stomach. So not healthy.
   
   
   
   
   
   
5. Was stopped by few policemen at 4am because I forgot to bring my IC out. Lucky my friend was there to protect me from being caught, he had to fetch me home just to prove I have an IC. Thank god nothing happen.
   
   
6. Brought them to the super nice daging satays.
   
   
7. Been spending alot alot alot of time with this group of classmates. Somehow we grew so much closer since we hang out everyday before, during and after class. The guys taught me alot especially. It's weird to hear words like commitments is a must have thing for a relationship to last coming out from them. Shocking. I mean, they used be playboys, not now. I never trusted this type of guys but the 2 monkeys proved me wrong.
   
   
8. By the way, I weigh myself - lose 1/2 kg but it makes no difference physically. -__-
   
   
   
9. My television died yesterday. My mum so not happy. So dad brought her to buy a new LCD today. Now she's so happy watching her show. =/
   
   
10. My friends caught these few guys taking pictures of me in lecture hall today and confronted them. Damn embarrassing.
    
    
11. Speaking of embarrassing. My mandarin's getting so much weirder and suckier lately I dunno WHY. I made mistakes, really silly mistakes - they couldn't stop laughing. Especially Gavin, must keep repeating my line to others wth. And that Eu Juan can never stop picking on me, waiting to laugh at me anytime I talk. -__- Thanks to me now everyone got influenced, they speak weird languages as well.
    
    
12. I was busy running in the house when Kin Yang called me previous night asking me to OPEN YOUR DOOR GO OUTSIDE NOW. For a second I thought he was outside my house or something. Nah. Look up the sky there's a smiley smiling at you. I bet everyone receive messages and calls for that. Once every 5 years how amazing.
    
    
    1st December 2008.
    
    
13. I think I have none IQ or EQ or whatsoever Q. I feel so stupid in Miss Serene's class today because we couldn't solve even SIMPLE games.
    
    
14. I'm starting to love garlic.
    
    
15. Dreamt of this person yesterday which I can't recall exactly what is it about but I was tearing profusely when I woke up this morning.
    
    
16. Having migraine. Suffering from sleep deprived.

I don't wanna close my eyes..
I don't wanna fall asleep..
Cause' I miss you baby.

In time of test family is the best.

So. I was drunk in Cloud 9 last night.

After cups and cups of uncountable Toddy and Sherry, someone guided me into the toilet and throw up. I thought I fainted next to the toilet bowl, few minutes later KK dashed into the female toilet and carried me out.

Then he had to run all over Genting to buy me mineral water and panadol at 4am. And stayed up the whole night taking care of me till this morning before sending me to meet up with my fellow mates for assignment.

It wasn't pathetic. I wanted to prove myself that I can get over things.. But KK stopped me from consuming more liquors and.. ended the conversation for me.

Despite what happened yesterday morning, we didn't continue doing what we were supposed to do. Instead, we went for this.

FIS SPA.

Before I could get ready, my so KIND leader grabbed both my legs and dunk them to the fish. The only option left was to scream the hell out of you and pinch whoever sitting beside you.

I swear it was so ticklish I almost tears.

You'll literally stop screaming the next minute once you get used to the geli-ness.

You'll start to enjoy them in fact.

And start camwhoring..

Everyone say I look like a KID now they cannot stop pinching my chubby face.
Don't ask me why I'm darker, sunburn-ed from cycling the other day.

Yesterday night when my dad wanted to disturb JunJun, she shouted at him. (in canto)

Jun : I don't like you lah!
Dad : WHY? *giving her the biggest O_O look
Jun : BECAUSE YOU ALWAYS PINCH ME HMPH! *angry face

-__-

Everyone else burst out laughing. Imagine a 4 years old kid saying this to a 50 years old old man! No doubt, my dad ALWAYS pinch her no matter where she go what she do. =/

The only person she's afraid of would be my aunt Sherryl.

My aunt forbid her from eating any sweets or chocolate or snacks because she doesn't like to brush her teeth - all spoilt. So aunty told her if she continue eating somemore, all the worms will eat up her teeth. So she dare not say NO. Each time she eat those things, she would look around if Sherryl is there. And if you just simply mention "HOR SHERRYL COMING JOR" she'll quickly stuff everything into her mouth or hide them somewhere. Once she even asked my mum to help her 'keep' her sweet in my mum's pocket. -_- But when my dad eating those, she would stand in front of him innocently, waiting for him to kesian her and she knows she surely gets to eat. Well she's extra friend with my parents compared to other uncle/aunty cos my mum and dad pamper her so much!

So yesterday she saw me eating the whole bar of chocolate, she came to me.

Jun : Eu jin jie jie.. ngo oi sek.. *so so so polite and innocent
Me : MM DAK!
Jun : dit dit jek.. please lah.. *trying to act as cham as possible with the I-am-so-sad-face
Me : MM DAK! *threaten to shout for my aunt fiercely

She stared at the CHOCOLATE with the longest and saddest face ever and then ran to my dad complaining about this evil daughter.

" Sah pek! (means 3rd uncle) Eu jin jie jie mm pei ngo sek! =( " *forcing her tears out

MY DAD GAVE HER THE WHOLE BAR! THE WHOLE BAR! Pfft -___-

See how everyone spoil her.

TELL ME HOW CAN SHE NOT BE THE SPOTLIGHT IN THE HOUSE.

You just can't resist her cuteness sometimes most of the time.
I think I'm as cute as her. ~_~

*** Sorry guys for not attending the Malaysia ITS & Admin gathering. Just got to know the surprise birthday celebration thingy for me. Especially Aaron. So sorry I couldn't make it.

Another hectic week coming. Le sigh.

They say absence makes the heart grow fonder.

I just saw something I shouldn't be seeing. So I just cried.

When you made up your mind for that one second, that's it.

Everything changed from that second onwards.

No turning back.












I'm so sicked of my old fringe so decided to chop them off. My friends couldn't recognise me at first sight? I thought I look like a doll but 99% of them said I look so much cuter and sweeter with this. I guess I shall take that as compliment. Cute pictures tomorrow.

Something happened today which really pissed me off like bloody fuck. Since they fucking rude being racist towards us, fucking lokap us, I fucking quarreled with them.

SO WHAT IF YOU HAVE POWER SO WHAT IF YOUR ARE MALAYS YOU ARE JUST A PIECE OF FUCKING SHIT OKAY.

SO WHAT IF YOU ARE THE MANAGER OF THE MALL SO YOU THINK YOU ARE FUCKING BIG? YEAH RIGHT YOUR BALLS ARE BIG THAT YOU CAN'T EVEN FUCK!

You should really be ashamed quarreling with a 19 years old girl. Common fuck off okay. So what if I'm timid so what if I'm chinese you think I'm scared of you? I don't fucking need to give face to idiots. Why should I be polite when you treat me such a way.

Enough said.

I'm going Genting for supper now. Cya.

When I've lost sight of where I'm meant to be.

I have my assignments open right next to me, but I don't feel like doing it. Yes. I am so much procrastinating here because I don't fucking know what to do. With the amount of work I have, I really shouldn't be blogging. It's suicidal. Yet, you just can't help it won't you?

I really like to tell my readers that I'm happy I AM SO SO SO HAPPY. But I really don't know. Don't know to the extend that I REALLY DON'T KNOW. Then again, maybe I needed something more than what can be given. And so, it becomes my fault doesn't it? My own bloody misery, simply because I gotten myself into the fight, I created it.

I haven't felt this lost and confused in awhile. It's like everything's spinning around me, I can't be thinking straight. I have to keep quiet so I don't snap. I have to endure those pain so I don't cry. I have to smile so people would think I'm cheerful. I have to constantly remind myself that I've grown up. No more a kid. I can't be relying on anyone. I must be independent.

Maybe that's why, I've been pushing myself too hard. Life becomes hard especially when you realize that at a time when you need a hand to hold most, that hand isn't available.

Do I want what I don't want? Or don't want what I want?

And I think I made the stupidest statement, going around telling people..
HAHAHA I DON'T HAVE MENSTRUAL PAIN BEFORE LAR HOW LUCKY!

I had the worst pain in my life of being a girl today. Its's really.. awful. Awfully pain that you feel like killing yourself on the spot, stabbing your stomach till it bleeds like waterfall so that you will have no more blood for period in your entire life!

It's so painful that it goes through the nerves, making you paralyze for a moment.
I wonder why am I even telling you this shit.

I'm still feeling so sick after medication; bed is my only option now.

It's gonna be a real busy weekend ahead. I don't mind busy days now, at least it can avoid me from feeling the loneliness and emptiness temporary; a way to lie and comfort myself away. I just need to breakaway. Like far far away, so that I can be all alone.

You know..
I'm so stressed; frustrated; moody; annoyed; angry; hurt; fed up; snappy; disappointed,
I could just cry out loud.

Tomorrow's a new day? Maybe; maybe not.
I'm off.

Hold your breath and count to ten..
Just because every other breath hurts.

Twinkle twinkle little star. How I wonder what you are.

This is theme song for Malaysia Musical Award 2008. =)
2008 娱协奖颁奖典礼大会主题曲 - STAR



Cast most of the local artistes of course. Daniel Lee, Rynn Lim, Danny Wen, Michael Wong, Fish Leong, Henley Shu, Diana, John Wong, Nick Chung and etc etc etc.

Loves.